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The baker's heartbeat

Have you ever think about the things that make you feel happy?

Do you feel happy in your everyday routine?

Thinking about it there is a lot of questions that appeared in your head.

Trying to answer that question I am finding my very own answer, the thing that no matter what is always making me smile and feel great. The thing that makes my heart beating. My cooking obsession. You will probably ask me: "Cooking what?" .. Well, it's simple - Everything! From cooking pasta, trough simple 5 min dishes, to baking bread and cakes.

I remember as it was yesterday when I baked for the first time in my life. I was 8 years old Bulgarian girl, home alone, with a great desire to show my parents that I am a grown person. I cleaned the whole apartment, then suddenly I decided I should bake something to surprise them. By this time there was not so much information a second away in your phone or computer, everything we've had was a great collection of books. Staring at the cooking books, I knew that I need a simple recipe because I couldn't go to the store. I would have needed money for that, and all I've had was about 2 lev, that's 1,70$. Reading and reading, I finally found something: "Tseluvki". Literally means "Kisses". The shortest ingredient list ever: egg whites and sugar. So simple! It should be simple enough for my first dessert. So I started slowly, trying not to make a mess everywhere. I am not sure how I managed to turn on the oven, it was 1998 and the oven we've had was old of course, and as in every Bulgarian house in the 90s, only the women in the house knows how does her oven works. Some are better baking at the bottom, other quite the opposite, some can't do both at the same time, but if you're cooking for the first time on it, good luck to know those details. You'll eventually get to know them with your experience. However, despite my intentions to keep the kitchen tide, you can imagine what was the result at the end. I should've clean again the house.

A few hours later, my father came back first. Smiling he asked me what I've been doing the last few hours. Well, his smile disappeared suddenly when I told him I've baked cookies. Imagine that face of a man trying to figure it out if the house is still whole and his daughter safe. He couldn't believe what he just hears and asked again, and again. But the answer was the same. When my mom came back home and they finally calm down because everything was ok, we proceed to the best part - eating my first dessert.

It was actually very good. My mom said that, and believe me, it was not just because her child made them and she supposes to say something nice. Nope, that's definitely not my family. She was an experienced baker and she confessed that she can't make them.

In time I found out that one dessert might be found in many different recipes and even trying every each one of them, if you want to be good, you should make your own version of it. Of course, that takes time and efforts but is helping you to fall in love with the process. And that's the bigger picture. Keep falling in love with the baking and cooking with every meal and dessert of yours. That is becoming one of the very few things making your heart beating.

Every time I bake something, I'm going back to that day when I baked for the first time, and I see the proud eyes of my mom and dad.

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